(I wish this was a picture of my body!)
Okay, the last time I posted was April 2.
I know I am doing terrible. I have pretty much been eating whatever I want. I have been eating cinnamon melts from McDonalds for breakfast way to much and having large cokes and bacon and cheese angus burgers. It is hard. My huband works nights and I have to deliver meals to him at night, and it's just so easy to get him McDonalds and have it ourselves. We do have Subway at least once a week. I have to start cooking my own meals more. I have been lazy and not packing my lunch either. I haven't eaten too many candy bars this week, but I have been eating a lot of other junk that I shouldn't be. I haven't been exercising at all.
I have had a stressful month. I am having trouble with my daughter, but I am seeking counseling and I think it will help. We still have to come up with a plan for after school. The counselor said she needs more structure (and more sleep!). The more sleep thing we are working on first. She usually takes forever to get to sleep. The counselor also said Meredith seems to be acting up to get my attention. I am now putting my 1 year old to bed at 8 (it used to be whenever--usually after my 8 year old went to bed which the counselor said I should not do). After that, me and Meredith read to each other, or I tell her a story that I make up (she loves when I make up stories!) Last night we both read in her bed and I tickled her back. Of course I had to tell her, okay, time to stop reading and go to sleep. She was just about to fall asleep at 9 and my husband called. Well, it's better than 9:30 or 10. We will get it. It will just take time.
Also, last week my daughter's dance teacher threw shoes at the kids during dance if they made a mistake. She takes competitive jazz and lyrical classes. Usually all of the parents just drop their kids off at 10:30 and pick them up at 12. We went to McDonald's afterward (yes, I had the high calorie angus bacon and cheeseburger and fries and coke), and she told me about the incident. I couldn't believe it. I found out from another parent that her kids said the same thing. I also found out that the dance teacher told them that their routine to the song "Think" was terrible and they would never make it to nationals. We had a parent meeting on Tuesday, and I was going to bring it up at the meeting, but I chickened out. I have a hard time with confrontation, but I did talk to the dance teacher afterward. She said it was like a game to the kids. She said they would make mistakes on purpose so she would throw dance shoes at them. My daughter said she threw tap shoes, but then I found out that she threatened to throw them, which is just as bad. I wrote the dance teacher a letter and sent it to her on facebook because I express myself better by the written word. This is what I said to her:
I know I don't speak my mind, and it took a lot for me to bring up the issue of you throwing dance shoes at them on Saturday. Meredith told me you threw tap shoes at them too, and I am not going to believe that she is lying to me. You said you would never throw tap shoes. She told me you are lying. It was not a game. How would you feel if you brought Abby (her granddaughter who also is in my daughter's class) to another dance teacher and you found out they were throwing shoes at her. Wouldn't you be upset? You don't throw shoes at kids. She also said that you told the class that their dance to think is terrible and "you will never make it to nationals". That is no way to talk to little kids. She will finish out the year, but she won't be dancing after nationals. She loves to dance, but does not want to go back to your studio next year. She would rather go someplace else. I think you owe all of the kids an apology.
My daughter has dance tonight, so we will see what happens. I am a little afraid, but I have to learn to stand up for myself and my daughter. From now on I don't think I am going to leave her there alone. If there isn't another parent there, I am going to stay. It's just kind of hard taking a 1 year old because she likes to try to go out and dance too, but I will just have to see if someone can watch her while I stay at dance class since my husband works at night. I used to like the little bit of time to go out and do various things that I have to do, but looks like that's done. While I am there I can get some reading in though if I don't have my 1 year old with me which will be good. She has a competition on the 22nd of May and the 2nd week in July and then she will be done!!!!!!!! I will have to find a new studio for her to go to because she loves dance, but she is never doing competition again. All that makeup and stuff is just a pain in the ass. She needs to be a kid and just have fun. She wants to do cheerleading for the church basketball team next year which I am fine with.
1. Weight on 3/31/10: 172
2. Today's weight (5/7/10): 178
Total: Up 6 pounds
Goal weight: 140