First, I went to the chiropractor and got a massage. I have been having problems with my arm hurting. He thinks it's my gallbladder. He asked how much pop and sweets I eat (A LOT!). I mean I gained almost 5 pounds this week. It has been a stressful week, but still. He said if I keep on, I will have to get my gallbladder taken out in 10 years. I am currently taking idodine everyday and it really is helping my back pain that I came in there for in the first place. I am now taking AF Betafood to help with the arm. Sounds weird I know, but I totally believe in him.
After that I went to the funeral home to pay my respects to my co-worker on the death of her husband. It was very sad. He was only 58 years old. At the funeral home they showed a video of his life and I got tears in my eyes. It began when he was little up until a few weeks ago when he was holding his first born granddaughter. When I left, I started crying. I got thinking about my own life. My dad is around the same age. That could be him. I just feel so bad for their family and can't even imagine what they are going through right now. I hardly even felt like eating, but I made myself.
I went and ate Thai food at the Bankock Star Restaurant. I just love that place. I went in and sat and ate and read more of my book - Love In Mid Air by Kim Wright.
After that I went to Barnes & Noble. I had a gift card to use, so I decided to see what I could find. I checked out the new books, but didn't really see anything that I couldn't get at the library. I ended up in the Humor section. I was feeling in a weird mood and started looking at those books.
I ended up with: Why We Suck, A Feel Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud, Lazy and Stupid by Dr. Denis Leary.
This sounds like a great and funny book!
A pissed off Leary is the best Leary, says one critic of the writer and comic. In Why We Suck, Dr. Denis Leary uses his common sense, and his biting and hilarious take on the world, to attack the politically correct, the hypocritical, the obese, the thin--basically everyone who takes themselves too seriously. He does so with the extra oomph of a doctorate bestowed upon him by his alma mater Emerson College. Sure it's just a celebrity type of thing--they only gave it to me because I'm famous. Leary explains. But it's legal and it means I get to say I'm a doctor--just like Dr. Phil.
In Why We Suck, Leary's famously smart style and sardonic wit have found their fullest and fiercest expression yet. Zeroing in on the ridiculous wherever he finds it, Leary unravels his Irish Catholic upbringing, the folly of celebrity, the pressures of family life, and the great hypocrisy of politics with the same bright, savage, and profane insight he brought to his critically acclaimed one-man shows No Cure for Cancer and Lock 'n Load, and his platinum-selling song, Asshole.
Proudly Irish American, defiantly working class, with a reserve of compassion for the underdog and the overlooked, Leary delivers blistering diatribes that are penetrating social commentary with no holds barred. Leary's book will find wide appeal among people who want to laugh out loud or find a guide who matches their view of what's wrong in America and the world-at-large; and fans of his one-man shows, his many movies, and Rescue Me, Leary's Golden Globe and Emmy nominated television show. Why We Suck is the latest salvo from one of America's most original and biting comic satirists.
Can't wait to read both of these books for a good laugh!
Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don’t have a text messaging plan. I paid 25 cents to get fired.
Your girlfriend dumped you, your car broke down, your boss passed you up for the big promotion. Life’s not fair, but there is one sure-fire way to ease your pain–laughing at someone else who had an even worse day than you did.
Enter the devastatingly funny world of F My Life, where calamity is comedy. Covering every disastrous pratfall in love, work, family-life, and more, F My Life proffers other people’s ruinous, real-life happenings to brighten your gloomiest day: someone getting dumped through a greeting card, ignored at their birthday party, or insulted by their own grandmother. Spanning everything from ironic twists of fate to down-right shameful moments, F My Life’s squirm-inducing stories are schadenfreude at its finest. So today, take solace in knowing that at least you’re not that guy. There now, don’t you feel better?
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain.
Today, my mom walked in on me looking at a 1978 Playboy. She asked if I found it in the basement. I said yes. Then I realized she was the centerfold.
Today, I got in line at the grocery store. The woman in front of me looked right at me, turned to her friend, and said “That reminds me, I forgot to get acne cream.”