Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bloodsucking Fiends A Love Story by Christopher Moore

Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.

Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never thought possible.

Jody was attacked and woke up as a vampire, but she didn't realize it right away. She was gone for 2 nights from home. Her hand was burned, so the person that attacked her put her under the dumpster but her hand must have been sticking out during the day. She didn't believe in vampires, but she ended up biting her boyfriend Kurt and sucking his blood. She thought she killed him, but he was still breathing, she said

p. 19

"Fuck, him, I never really liked him anyway. Maybe I am a monster.

She turned on the curling iron that she used every morning to straighten her hair, then turned it off and thre is back on the vanity. Fuck that, too. Fuck curling irons and blow dryers and high heels and mascara and control-top panty hose. Fuck those human things." (I loved this quote-wish I could say that sometimes!)

I even got a french lesson from this book! French people were in the room next to her having sex. They said "Vas-y plus fort, mon petite cochon d'amour!" which translates to "Do it harder, my little love pig!" (p. 30)

There was a lot of humor in this book. When she was talking about her boyfriend:

(p 32) "She didn't have to kill every night, and if she did bite someone, he or she didn't necessarily have to turn into a vampire--an asshole, maybe, but not a vampire. But then, again, Kurt had been an asshole before, so
how could you tell?"

She met up with C. Thomas Flood. She wanted someone to help her and he seemed like the right guy. He worked nights at a store. Here is a quote that really made me think and wonder if it could happen

(p 39)"This is nothing," Simon said, "when I was working a store in Idaho, we ran a forklift through the dairy case. Two hundred gallons of milk on the floor. Sucked it up in the shop vac and had it back in the cartons ten minutes before opening and no one knew the difference." (I hope that never really happens!)

Jody asked Tommy if he wanted to move in with him after just meeting him, but then she ended up telling him she would get him his own hotel room. He is confused.

(p61) First she wants me for my body, then she wants me as an employee, then she doesn't want me at all. I don't know whether I'm supposed to kiss her or fill out an application. I feel like one of those nervous little dogs
from an electroshock test. Here's a bone, Spot. Zap! You didn't really want that, did you?"

She was confused because since he worked nights, he would get home in the morning and would open the door and the sunlight would hit her. She wanted her own place so she could be in the dark as long as she needed to. She was still trying to figure out the whole vampire thing.

In the meantime, people were getting killed by an unknown vampire. She figured it was the same vampire that turned her.

I really liked this book. I haven't read a book by Christopher Moore before this one. I have been in a weird kind of mood lately, and these seemed like the perfect books to read. It was humorous and a different kind of vampire book.

I gave it 4 out of 5 stars.

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