I read this book on the way to my last job interview. And I got the job. Now, I'm not saying that I was successful by being a bitch, but being in touch with my needs and goals was certainly a help. This humorous look at why women don't get what they need and want uses cartoons by Nicole Hollander (Sylvia) to illustrate strategies for "getting over toxic niceness" and saying what you really mean. Perhaps the world would be a nicer place if we all stopped fretting over the "B" word.
My Review:Anybody that knows me knows that I am way too nice. I saw this book and knew I needed to read it! Anything that I can read to help me become a better person is what I am interested in right now! If you are a person who is too nice and try to be as agreeable and nice as you can all the time, you need to read this book!
"Eventually, I manifested all the Niceness I could, bending over backwards to be agreeable, helpful, thoughtful, adoring, and adorable--in other words, a complete dormat." (loc. 128)
This is totally me. I hate conflict and I always try to do everything I can to make someone else happy, even if it means putting my feelings aside. The author in this book realized that she was suffering from toxic niceness, and it was when she was dealing with a man. She got stood up and she was mad, but then she started making up all these excuses to give him the benefit of the doubt. She just knew he must have been seeing another woman (he said "something came up"), but he was so cute and she really liked him so she forgave him. After all "no one likes a bitch. How could a nice girl like me stay angry? He asked me for another chance and I gave it to him." (loc 146).
I highlighted so many things in this book. It was so full of great information! The biggest thing is to learn to say "I don't think so". It's so easy to just agree with everything even if you don't want to. That way you avoid any hurt feelings. It's just easier to get along with everyone. This book is showing me that I don't have to get along with everyone. I have my whole life ahead of me and there is no reason why I should let any part of my life be unhappy. Now, the real trick will be putting this into practice!
I highly recommend this book!
My Rating :
Getting in Touch with Your Inner Bitch by Elizabeth HiltsKindle Edition, 208 pagesPublished September 1st 2006 by Sourcebooks Hysteria(first published May 1994)
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